Battery
by VineCaper
Summary: One of the wielders of innocence is to be the Battery. He who has been cursed with this power can be used by others, charging them, making them powerful. Allen doesn't want to be a bother, so he hides the fact that he is the Battery, and that someone has been 'using' him. KandaxAllen. Repeated sexual abuse to a minor.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N- this is gonna be angsty. Tell me if you want more, I actually have initiative for this story. **_

**CHAPTER ONE - Epilogue.**

_No one needs to notice. I don't want to trouble them with my issues. Besides, there's nothing that they could do to stop it, _Allen thought, as he limped the corridors at nights of the new building of the Order. He couldn't go to sleep. He could be training, or eating, or showering. Anything but the nightmares. Anything but the hoarse throat he wakes up with from screaming. Anything but sleeping. This had been getting to be a nightly routine, although it was more of a 'welcome back' present this time.

You see, when Allen had arrived at the place so that he could begin to destroy demon's and whatnot with the other exorcists, Hevlaska had an announcement to make. It was as follows: **There is to be another **_**special **_**innocence wielder. This human will have the strength to go further than most. But it differs from the generals in this way: **_**He will be the Battery. **_Many took to heart this new discovery, that the Battery was to charge up other innocence. They were wrong though. This Battery was to be a charger for those who seek power. Not just those with innocence. Humans, Noah, demons and anything that could reach it could use it as their battery.

And who other than Allen would be a great wielder of such an innocence. Allen was the Battery.

_This is okay. I'm helping._ A mantra he told himself every night since his arrival. Hevlaska didn't seem to realize that she didn't cover for him very well on the first day. She had noticed this strange occurrence as she held him to her face. A strange sense of sadness had taken over her, as she had seen what was to be of him. By calling him the Destroyer Of Time, she meant that he was the one who could make you _immortal. _She tried desperately to make this as discreet for him as possible. She didn't want the humans taking advantage of him as they did to her. But to him it would be different. The only way, she knew, to get the power from him was to take it by force. One would have to **mate** with him. It didn't matter if he wanted it or not, the power would still seep from him to the person doing it. _What an unfortunate soul, _she had thought, _to have to live with this curse. _

And that it was.

And the worst part, was that someone understood exactly what she was trying to hide. They understood that when she had made both of these announcements that it was about Allen, and that they coincided. They didn't care that it probably was only valid to innocence, they wanted power. If they had a chance, they would take it. So, the next night after Allen's arrival to the Black Order, he called the boy to him. How smiley he was at the time. How difficult to break. Although it had taken him about a week to figure out exactly how to extract the power, at least now it was in his grasp. The best part was that the man could always go back and _charge_ himself up again.

_I can only imagine if it was someone else..._ he thought sadly as he made his way to the training grounds. He really wasn't hungry, so he wouldn't go to the caff. Was he ever anymore though? It only ever tasted like salty, slimy- wait, no, he couldn't think about it. Thinking about it only ever made everything worse.

_Perhaps I can read in the training grounds_, he thought. He really hated being alone, but the crowds everywhere really made him nervous. No one could tell though, since no one ever paid enough attention to him to realize anything was amiss. But it was confusing to him as well, as he didn't like to be alone, but he also hated being around people.

This also had to do with the fact that Lenalee and Lavi were very watchful. They would pile food onto his plate if they saw him only eating a fraction of what he would normally eat. So, as he was bound to get thinner and thinner with the lack of nutrients, and the lack of energy everyday from his nightly visits, and his training, he wore extra clothing. Under his normal button up white shirt, he wore a thick sweater. No one noticed, though. Perhaps, when he wasn't looking, some did, but none that he was aware of.

And why would they want to? He was dirty now, defiled. Also, there was the ever potent danger of them finding out that he was the Battery. They might just do the same... God knew that his body wouldn't be able to handle two people wanting to be _charged. _But still, sometimes Lenalee or Lavi would drop hints that he could talk to them about anything, and they meant anything. This made him nervous. He didn't want to think about it, nor did he want to talk about it. It made him comfortable to keep the memories back inside of his head, where he could bury them in happy thoughts about Mana and all of the times they had had together.

But lately things were going different. He was starting to black out in places, and his memory wouldn't recount how he got back to his bed later. He knew where he would have blacked out at, say the training room or the showers, but never how he got back in bed... this worried him, not only because when he was unconscious, people could be taking advantage of him, but it was happening more and more lately. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep... or food... or energy... this made him grimace. It was only a downward spiral, with no way back up. The person who had been using him would only continue to do so until Allen himself went mad or died. Perhaps the latter would happen sooner than he thought... the thought had strangely no effect on him. _Ehehe... have I always been so keen to see my own death? Oh, how things have changed, Mana. _

He finally sat down on the edge of a window looking out of the training facility. The man using him had kept him there late today, as he had just come back from a mission. He was of no use of course, with the lack of proper energy, but the sight of his Crown Clown still made some fear in the smaller demons. It was 4am now, and he knew that sleep would be futile. Eating could wait to be tried later, when he knew that Lenalee and Lavi wouldn't be there to pester him. He loved them, but he knew that if he stayed around them long enough, they were bound to notice that something was up. _That can't happen, _he thought.

He opened his book to the saved page and read, until when he heard a sound, he looked up. A sword danced into view, along with a beautiful Asian man with a blind fold trapped around his eyes and pony tail. He ended up only reading the same paragraph over and over as his eyes were keen to follow the every move of the man. His hate for him had long dissipated, being replaced by nothingness. He really didn't care if Kanda hated him or not, it wouldn't matter in his situation anyway. The important part was that he was impassive.

For some reason, this fact made Allen's interest peak.

Most people found Allen interesting, felt something for him, be it admiration, love, hate, interest, or the use of him being the Batttery. For Kanda this seemed to be different, it was like he had no time to hate him, and found no use in loving him. Perhaps he just didn't care about anyone for that matter. That seemed to be it, too. But still, as he watched the samurai swinging his sword at invisible attackers, he couldn't help but hold a little bit of admiration for the man. His hair was long, and as girly as it was, suited him to no end. Allen found himself closing his book, only to watch tiredly as Kanda spun and flung himself at targets. _He's slicing at flies, how great is his hearing? _Allen noticed as he watched how the little insects fell to the ground. _What precision! _

"Stop watching me, Moyashi." Sounded a cruel voice, startling Allen into dropping his book.

"I'm sorry." Was his dull reply. He felt no need to be angry back lately. He had no energy for that...

"If you're here, train, don't just sit there and stare." He growled at Allen, flipping off his sweaty blindfold to reveal his startling black eyes.

"I can leave."

As he got up to walk to the door, a bout of dizziness overcame him. His senses blacked out one by one, first his taste, then scent, then touch, he didn't feel as he fell to the floor. Then his sight, he didn't see as Kanda ran after him, only to come a second short as the boy still fell the floor. Then his hearing, he didn't hear the older cursing. He didn't know how often this had happened, or about the looks he received as this same man carried him back to his bed after time and time again. He didn't know that someone was aware of his every failing health. He didn't see this man watching as he ate less and less. He didn't know that outside of his room, was someone hearing him scream. He didn't know that this man asked to be paired on missions with him for a reason, that Kanda was the sole reason he wasn't dead yet on the battlefield.

He didn't know that Kanda cared about him.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO – Hide**

**WARNINGS – Disgusting, throwing up, depressing, non-con.**

Allen sat up in bed long after his screaming had torn at his throat for a what seemed to be the millionth time. It must have been in the afternoon, and he couldn't remember quite where he had been when he had passed out this time. Or, again, how he had gotten to his room in the first place. His whole body ached with lack of nutrients and energy. It craved more sleep, but his mind betrayed him, surrounding him with bad memories and showing him what he thought to be glimpses of the future. Tim floated nearby, watching him with pain. He could do nothing, and any time he had to tried to help his young master, the humans did not understand.

_I must keep walking,_ Allen told himself. This was always his mantra, but now it seemed to be losing its meaning. It was like his thoughts were melted together with indifference. He didn't care for his self-made proverbs. He didn't care about the world. Nothing mattered, because, in the end, there was nothing he could do to stop it. As much as he hated to be depressed like this, it was getting harder and harder to stop. His life was taking a quick spiral downward.

When he decided to get up, he grabbed a new outfit, and went to his private bathroom. He opened the door quietly, and stepped inside, not allowing Tim to follow. The mirror wasn't ever his favorite object. It showed him too much truth. He stood in front of it, and scrutinized himself. He rinsed off the powerful makeup on his face, letting his true appearance take it's place. There were dark circles under his dull gray eyes. His cheekbones jutted out, and his lips were chapped and swollen. Dark bruises adorned his neck and collar bone. _Disgusting, _he thought.

Slowly he undressed his torso, taking his time as to not aggravate the burn in his loins. Again he turned around and faced the mirror. His own appearance didn't shock him. The black of his weapon arm was faded in color, now a dark gray. His ribs stuck out of the severely bruised skin, where wounds from a previous fight still festered. His hip bones were prominent, jutting out of his thighs like daggers. His nipples were blue from pinching, and his biting. _Who am I?_ He thought.

The weapon attached to him was the only symbol that he was the Battery. Although, he learned that even without it being attached to him, he was still the Battery. When he was at the Asian branch training with Fou, he was followed by his attacker. The man had then proved that even in his most useless state, he still could be _used. _

At first, Allen was scared that the countless amounts of energy being stolen would amount to him having no power at some point. But apparently he was wrong. Allen was a renewable source, to be used as many times as one might want. In short, anyone could fuck him any amount of time, but still he would have power to give. Hence why after so long, he was still being tortured by the same man. The worst part was that his body betrayed him. The only way to get Allen to give one a charge, was to make the boy orgasm. Which wasn't hard, since he was still a teenaged boy, with the need to ejaculate every so often. His body complied with his attacker, and renewed the sexual devices it had every day. In other words, no matter how many times he was assaulted, his anus would remain in tact, brand new every time. The penetration hurt every single time. There was no 'getting used to it'.

He let the thoughts slip from his mind as he finished undressing. Today he planned on taking a walk around the building. Perhaps he would hang out around Lenalee and Lavi. They always proved to be of some fun. He knew to avoid Johnny though, as the smaller man was never hesitant to ask awkward, and very obviously worried questions to him. _As much as I love the care you give me, I can't let you find __out what's been happening. You just wouldn't understand. _

The only ones who understood him were Hevlaska and Tim. But the thought of talking about his problems sincerely scared him. He didn't want the sad looks that his motherly companion would give him. They only made him feel bad, didn't actually ever help. He wouldn't confide in her, even though she insisted that he talked to someone. Both knew that the attempts were futile, but nonetheless, she tried and tried. It hurt her to see such potential be wasted on another's greed. Once or twice, after a really bad charging session, he came to her, longing for gentle touches and soothing words. In the moments where she held him, he felt safe, warm, and almost happy.

But he hadn't come to her in months. He came to her before he had broken, before this all got out of hand. It wasn't always a daily occurrence, once upon a time being weekly or biweekly visits. It didn't matter now, though, as he was sure to crumble to dust anytime soon.

Over the past two months, it got harder and harder to eat, he found himself unable to taste food, only tasting what he knew all to well to be ejaculatory fluids. His cheeks, which were once full of life and dimples from smiling, had thinned out. He used makeup (with a bit of magic) to cover them up, adding a fake sheen of life to them. He was constantly cold, needing to wear fuzzy socks under his boots, and extra layers to his clothing, which he did anyway to hide the lack of fat on his body. It was easy enough to perfect the mask of happiness. His walls were so very thick, it seemed as if none could pass through anymore.

_No use dwelling on it now, or I'll never get things done. _He quickly hid the thoughts away inside of his head, piling on thick emotional rocks to keep himself steady throughout the day. He walked to the shower, pulled open the curtains, and turned the shower on all the way to the left, where the hottest water would pour through. It wasn't enough to make him feel clean, or wash away the hands he felt lingering on his thighs. But it was one of the things that helped him get through the days. It rejuvenated him slightly, and helped reduce his pallor.

He first went to work at scrubbing his face, getting the last of the makeup away. Then he washed his hair, which was beginning to fall out in certain places, whether from pulling or from lack of nutrition, he knew not. He was gentle with it, though, as to not become bald. He spent the longest time on his body, though, where the hot water seeped into his scars and new cuts. It hurt, yes, but it was for the better, as he wanted to be clean. Oh how he missed being _clean._ Finally, he spent his usual amount of time getting things _out _of himself, before getting out of the shower. He felt the dirtiest at the end of his shower, where he had to reach inside of his own opening, and get the old blood and semen out, less it cause an infection. _I'm just surprised that I don't already have one._

Finally, he got out, and dried himself off. He only returned to the dreaded mirror to apply more makeup, before outfitting himself in layers, and deeming it a clever enough disguise.

Suddenly, though, as he was about to leave, he tumbled over. His eyes widened as he knew what was to come next. His strength waned completely, and he fell to the floor, his face rubbing against the cool hardwood. Tim fluttered towards him, trying to sooth what he knew was to come of this. A sudden and painful clench of his stomach later, and he was vomiting all over the floor. He couldn't help the tears that ran down his face, or the blood that was starting to follow these events. He probably had an ulcer by now.

As he finished his bout of vomiting, he realized something. _I haven't eaten much in the past few days... where did the food come from?_ He saw food in his puke that wasn't something he would have eaten. He was never a fan of meats and steaks, although before he would have loved to indulge in it. He scrutinized the mess before he realized that he was being disgusting. Luckily enough, he hadn't gotten any on himself this time. He cleaned up his floor, spraying some cologne on it so that it wouldn't stink later when he came back. Next he went back to his bathroom and brushed his teeth, applying a bit more makeup afterward just as a precaution.

The young exorcist walked from his room to where he thought the training area to be. Of course it only took him three wrong turns to end up in the library instead. He felt like being a quiet area anyway, so he supposed it worked out for the best. He picked up a book he loved to read when he was bored. It didn't take him long to get three chapters ahead. Until a word caught his conscience... _rape. _He subconsciously shut his book. His eyes were wide, and he felt his heart beat pick up. The word was hardly even in context, but its meaning made his chest constrict in on itself.

He brought his knees up to his chest, and stared into nothingness ahead of him. No one seemed to be around, and if they were, he knew he would be in trouble.

"Moyashi." A dark voice sounded out behind him. He jumped quite noticeably into the air, looking behind himself with wide eyes. _Well that was obvious, _Allen chastised himself.

"Hello, Kanda..." He didn't check himself to make sure that his voice was back to normal. It gave away his unease completely. The look on Kanda's face made him nervous. It wasn't his usual look of ire or contempt, it was just _nothingness. _He almost, _almost_ looked worried. "Is... is there something that I can help you with?" But the white haired was ignored. Instead Kanda walked over to where he had put his book down. He picked it up, and sat across from him, on the carpeted floor. No one else was here to see this. Kanda lowering himself in front of someone like him.

"You stopped reading." He suddenly said. This much was obvious, but the lump in Allen's throat was now falling to his stomach. It wasn't helping how he felt, and it was making him nauseous. Did Kanda watch him? Did he see what word he stopped at?

"Were you watching me?" He croaked out. He cursed his lack of a manly voice, which would have helped him to at least sound calm.

"Yes. Why did you stop?"

"Why do you care?"

"Moyashi... don't avoid the question..." Kanda still had that emotionless look on his face. This wasn't helping Allen's stomach. He reached down in his lap, and folded the book open to just the page where the younger had stopped reading. His finger traced the words on the paper, until it came to rest on a certain word. He looked up from what he was doing to see a scared look on the others face. "Does this scare you? This word..."

_No, no, no, no, no... _"Kanda..." His voice was failing him, and he needed to leave before he threw up again. He breathed out suddenly, and his world was starting to spin. He felt hands on his shoulders, keeping him steady. The dizziness left him again, and he was looking into deep black eyes, unwavering. He swallowed. _He knows. _

"You need help." Kanda announced softly, but without wavering. Straight to the point as always.

"I don't. I have to go." Allen got up, and as he started to walk to his room, he found that he was lost. Not only lost, but he couldn't think of the way back. In fact, he could barely think at all. It was as if his thoughts were being tampered with. As if someone drugged him or something. But this had happened before. It was his brain telling him that he needed sleep. And that he needed it _now. _

He could hardly protest as he felt a hand slip into his, and guide him. _Hey, this is my corridor. _The hand had led him safely back into his dorm. It let him to his bathroom, where he thought he saw long black hair in the mirror. It led him to where the toilet was. Perfect, as he needed to throw up again. Not that he wanted to. He never wanted to, but his body – as per usual – defied him and his wishes. He fell to his knees and gagged up bile into the bowl. His hands faltered at his sides, but he didn't fall in, as he was being held up by another pair of hands. The same hands that led him here in the first place.

The retching continued for about 10 minutes before the blood began to come up. But still his clenching stomach did not stop, and he was crying again. _Do grown ups cry like this? Certainly not... _But alas, he was crying, nonstop. His stomach hurt _so bad._ Tremors had started up again in his arms and legs. He knew that they wouldn't leave until he was ready to give more of his power. He let out a whine at the thought. _No more, at least for tonight._

He felt himself being picked up. Carried to the bed. He saw the curtains being closed. He heard a chair pull up beside him. He saw Kanda looking at him with emotionless almond eyes. The last thought he had before drifting to sleep was: _How much does he know?_

Before long he was dreaming. The corridors of the Black Order Headquarters were black, and empty. No soul was there, but he heard laughing. Taunting cackles that filled him with dread. _Come here, _they said. He knew this voice, he had to oblige. _Come here, give me what is mine. _He kept walking, his heart falling into his stomach. He finally reached the end of the hallway, to find an office, small and neat. Behind a desk was his attacker. The man padded towards him, leering with a smile that promised pain.

The door closed. He was being nudged towards the desk. _Allen, Allen, Allen, you're such a _good _boy. Now bend over, let's make this last. I won't be able to see you for a while when you're gone on your mission. _Allen listened, it was easier this way. He just had to shut off his mind as he always did. Dirty, rough hands found their way down to his thighs, where they pulled at the pants. He was told to wait. So he did. Footsteps signaled that the man had left, only to come back seconds later with something in tow. He had to look, it could save him from pain.

_No, please, not that. I'll do anything. But not that. _It was a sex toy. Not just any ordinary sex toy, though. It was huge. Two and a half inches thick and nine in length. _Oh but you must do this. I can't just keep fucking you like normal, that gets boring. We need to spice things up occasionally. _

The older man licked the thing, lathering it with his spit. _Take off your pants, you're a big boy, you don't need me to do that for you, now do you?_ Again, he did as he was told. His shaking was starting to drive him crazy. The attackers thumbs were rubbing circles into his bum cheeks, trying to calm him. The dildo pressed to his hole, about four times the size of it's maximum stretch. This was going to hurt him badly...

Kanda heard a gasp. He knew it was coming, as he had heard it numerous times before. He needed a name. He knew what was going on, he knew the implications, but there was no 'getting over it' as he had hoped. No, it was still going on, he knew. It might have happened in the past, but he felt that there was too much proof. With senses like his, he knew certain smells, sounds, and sights that implied sexual assault. Never did he think that anyone would harm the innocent child, but alas, the world was cruel.

But damn, he couldn't help the poor kid without the threat being gone in the first place. This time, the Moyashi needed someone, and he was going to sit there until he woke up. He wouldn't run away this time. Moyashi needed him, as much as he _wanted_ him.

That's right, Kanda, the strong, the brave, and the stoic, wanted Allen Walker, the meek, the childish, and the wimpy. Or so he thought of him anyway. He always wanted to help him, make him better. But the damn kid was so good at hiding his emotions, he was almost as good as Kanda himself. So this time, this day, he wanted the boy to know that he wasn't _that _great.

"Nnn... noooo..." Allen drawled out sleepily. He suddenly took in air, and threw his hips forward, as if jabbed by a knife in the behind. Still he slept, as his mind trapped him in the nightmare. He kept gasping for air, as if in his dream the attacker was suffocating him. Tears were falling down his closed eyes as the invisible person violated him. "Nnn... no... no more... can't take it... too big..." He wept. Kanda had heard this dream on their last mission. It pained him to see again, the face the younger was making. It was like he was trying desperately to try to stop crying, but the pain was knitting his eyebrows and making him bite his bottom lip.

Suddenly, if he wasn't already leaning close he would have missed it. Very faintly, he heard it. A throaty, barely whisper of a name...

"..._Leverrier_..."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE – Help Won't Come Today**

**WARNINGS – Lots of freaking talking.**

_Fuck. Why him of all people?_ Thought Kanda after hearing the name. This person was not only heavily guarded, he had the whole damn church on his side. Not to mention those damn Crow. With the scientist's, he'd maybe have some on his side, but with all said and done, Leverrier would have more power than just what he could find. But why on earth would the old man want to do this to Allen of all people? He was sweet, innocent, and feisty. He could have had anyone in the world that he wanted, so why, _why_ Allen?

Again he watched with waning fascination as the Moyashi twitched and snarled and whimpered into his dreams. The name never came again, almost as if it was a mistake to speak it. Which is horrible. The boy should be able to speak whatever name he wants. So should everyone.

_How long has this been going on for? _The Asian thought, worried to find out an answer. As it was, the more he noticed odd little habits in the boy, the more he realized that they were there all along. He always shied away from touches. He always avoided talking about himself. He never looked you in the eye. He was constantly getting thinner. _A long time, I presume..._

"Oh God, oh God... nooooo... please, please, please..." Allen murmured in his sleep. Suddenly, a violent kick came from under the covers, and the blankets went flying across the room. He bolted upright, panting, and looking around wildly. He breathed out rapidly, already in a panic. He missed Kanda sitting there, watching. Calculating. He knew better than to touch the panicked child, and also knew better than to say anything. There was a time for everything, and now would not be the time. Allen wasn't a baby, he could stop the panic before he passed out on himself.

His panic slowly but surely ebbed, leaving what looked to be a shell shocked silent Allen. He slowly turned unseeing eyes onto Kanda.

"What do you know?" He said. His voice wasn't shaking and his body was still.

He chose his next words wisely, knowing that easily, he could get hurt in this situation, as well as accidentally hurt the other. "I know only what I've been able to notice."

"_What do you know?" _Allen spoke, louder and with more emotion. The tremors in his body started up again, leaving him unable to remain in his trance like state. Kanda was patient though. He would wait until the opportunity arose for him to say what he needed to. For now the boy could lash out, kick and scream all he needed to. What worried him was that he _wasn't._ He needed to know how long this has been going on for. He needed answers if he could ever help him.

"Moya- _Allen. _Let's talk. I don't want this to be an argument."

"WHY? What do you know? What do you know?"

He knew lots of things. He knew that he was being raped. That he needed help. That he was anorexic and on the verge of bulimia. He could smell makeup on him at all times, hiding what was likely to be bruises. If he didn't tell him, then there would likely be another panic attack. If he did tell him, he might get shunned and then maybe even hurt. He decided on the latter.

"I know that you're being hurt by someone." When he received an almost relieved look, this made him uneasy. Was there something else that the Moyashi was hiding? Something worse?

Allen swallowed. It was bad, but it could be way worse. If Kanda knew that he was the Battery, he could be in trouble. For one, he didn't think that he would be able to live much longer if he had two people 'using' him at the same time. He curled his knees up to his chest, and let his hands fall down to his sides, still watching Kanda. Did he know exactly how he was being abused? Did he care? Did he want to _help?_

"Listen, how about you can ask me anything, and in return, I want to hear your story." Kanda suggested, knowing full well that he needed to prove to be trustworthy, if even a little. Allen pondered this request, and nodded. The other was patient as he thought of a few questions that he might need and want answers to, from dumb to important.

"Alright. How long have you been paying attention to me, and why?" As innocent a question as it was, Kanda swallowed. He couldn't yet tell the other the truth, for fear of invoking negative emotions. Surely someone who's being assaulted wouldn't want to know that they've had a secret stalker ever since they arrived at the Black Order?

He chose his words wisely. "Since you've been sick. I had to carry you around on our mission, and when you would pass out. I may be an ass, Moyashi, but even I have a heart." Allen put his head down and smiled at his statement. _A heart, eh?_ He thought.

"Was it you that brought me back this morning when I passed out in the training area?"

"Correct."

"Do you have a middle name?"

"What? no."

"Me neither. But I think that's because I was adopted." He smiled lightly again. "Do you have any siblings?"

The questions continued on in this manner. They got more an more pointless, but still Kanda stayed patient, he knew that he was just buying time until his nervousness passed to ask the more important questions. He must have figured out every small fact about him by now, from his favorite color, to his wardrobe and if he liked certain animals. The questions finally came out slower now, until there was a deadly silence emanating about them.

"Do you... do you know what kind of 'hurt' that this person is doing?" He mumbled out.

"Yes." Was a stoic and low reply.

"Oh. But you don't know why?"

"No, I don't. I would assume some people are just sick and perverted psychopaths, with a fetish for little boys. This is why I never trust the church." Was that a joke? Nice fail there, Kanda.

But still the younger smiled, tilting his head. His eyes were glowing, as the time passed to after six o'clock and the sun was shining on them just right. The startling glow of them made his heart light up just a little, even though they hid the deepest of pains. What he wouldn't give to kiss away all the tears, and all of the memories, and just wrap him in the comfiest of hugs. What he wouldn't give to just have a small moment where they could just so much as hold hands.

"Well... I'm done I suppose... is there something you wished to know?" He inquired.

"Yes. I need to know how long this has been going on for."

"About a week after I first arrived at headquarters..."

"It's been going on for a year, then?"

A tear rolled down his cheek, but the boy didn't flinch or even move to wipe it off. "Yes..."

"How often?"

"I dunno, before it was only once or twice weekly, but now he says he needs it everyday..." He trailed off and looked once more to his hands, which were now hugged against his knees. He looked so feeble and like he was in so much pain. Kanda could only guess how awful he had been treated. That was what looked to be a man in his fifties, hurting a boy who only now was reaching manhood, in his teens. This was wrong on so many account, and could only prove to be detrimental.

Not only would this be difficult, it would almost be impossible. If he kept Allen from Leverrier, there would be suspicions made up about them, like them trying to plot or some complete shit like that. No, and if he were to tell people, that man's power would well overpower anyone else's. No, there were no immediate solutions, as there would be if it was some random stranger. But he knew that his Moyashi was stronger than just a sick old man, and smarter than any random human. Not even he, though, could outsmart the most powerful man in headquarters. No, this would be troublesome.

"Does he expect you there tonight?"

"Mhm."

"Will you go?"

"I must."

Kanda simply stared. The boy was only sixteen, for fucks sake, and forced to touch what no child should ever have to touch. He felt sick to his stomach, and he found himself putting his face in his hands. There was _nothing_ he could do. _Nothing. _A painful jab in his heart told him that his thoughts were true. There was no helping. The only thing he could do is watch as the Allen he once knew faded away. Never before had he ever felt so helpless...

_Why does he care? So suddenly. I never knew him to have a soft spot for people like me... perhaps he deserves to know. What's the worst that could happen? _He thought and thought. He knew by now that Kanda at least cared about him. He doubted that the other would use him like Leverrier is. He mustered up all of his strength, putting his knees down, and crawling across his bed, to sit where Kanda was. He touched a hand upon the others shoulder, perhaps for his own support or Kanda's.

"I've been hiding a secret, Kanda." When his eyes met him, he looked away. It was a signal to go on. "Do you remember the announcement that Hevlaska gave when I first came? About the Battery?" Kanda squinted his eyes.

"It was you?"

"Please don't tell anybody... or use me like he does..." Allen plead. He knew he sounded weak, but at this moment, perhaps, just maybe, he could use a shoulder to cry on. Maybe Kanda could help him... maybe he would comfort him, or maybe he would just be there for him. He didn't want to _talk, _nor did he want to cry, but he did need someone. Kanda was perfect. He would keep his mouth shut and would avoid telling others.

"I would never. I'm confident in my own strength... but... why does he get it in such a way?"

"It's the _only_ way."

**Okay so, just a warning, the next chapter will make you want to vomit, it will be cruel and violent. Don't read it if you're young and innocent, please. **

**Reviews are welcomed.**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR – Nightly Occurrence **

**WARNINGS – Graphic sexual abuse to a minor, violence.**

_How could I have let him go?_ Kanda asked himself, pacing the inside of Moyashi's room. He was allowed to stay in here, in fact he was allowed to do anything, as long as he didn't reveal what the boy was. Still, he didn't feel right letting him walk to his doom like that. He could have slammed the door shut right in his face, he could have kidnapped him. He could have done something! But no, he was a coward, scared of Leverrier just like everyone else in this shit hole.

_He's used to it,_ he justified to himself, _maybe it won't be so bad after just one more night. _He knew that this was wrong though. Although he wasn't able to gather much from the conversation, he was able to discern the rest. He knew that Allen felt new pain every time he went there, because his body reset itself. Technically, that meant that his body became a virgin after every time he got fucked. There was no changing his memories, though.

Allen would be scarred for life...

Elsewhere in the large building, Allen again walked the same hallway that would lead to his eventual breaking. He started singing in his head, like a child who was scared of the dark, and would sing to make the monsters go away. _This monster won't leave. _He looked behind himself, hoping for something. Maybe he hoped for a savior, like he thought he'd have with Kanda for a second. No, there was nothing anybody could do, even if the whole of headquarters knew. _He's not coming for me, _he realized. _No one's coming. _Hot tears streaked burned behind his eyes, but his mouth smiled.

The moon must have been laughing at him, safe in it's haven, where it could watch his suffering, allowing it to happen. He stopped in front of the large oak door labeled 'Leverrier', and sighed. His head clunked against the wood, as he knit his eyebrows together, eyes closed. He gathered up the strength he needed, and knocked lightly on the door. He heard walking, and the monster opened his door. He smiled at Allen, and gestured inside of his office.

Obliging, he left his post at the door and went to sit in the arm chair in front of the desk. Hands appeared beside him on each arm rest. Each of the fat fingers on each hand tapped individually, waiting. "How should I make you come for me today?" The monster asked quietly. He wanted an answer. Allen wanted to shout at him to be younger and nicer and preferably not blond (he wasn't into blondes) but that wouldn't get him anywhere except in more pain.

"I don't know, sir." He responded quietly. He wasn't allowed to call him by his name, less he be choked. Luckily though, it seemed his response was favorable, as the older seemed satisfied, he left and went to a joining office, empty except for a fridge and chests with secrets and toys and chains inside of them. Any time that man came out of that room, he brought something dirty and kinky, and to Allen, it meant more pain.

This time, he called from inside of the room, "I know how much you enjoy food." Allen gulped. He only used to enjoy food, now it all made him sick. Leverrier came out finally, after rummaging around. He came out with a bottle of whipped cream and a small package of strawberries. Allen had to stifle a large gag. This was almost too much. But worse had already happened. At least today there wouldn't be any riding crops or whips or chains or dildos.

Allen bit his lip and turned his face away as the monster undressed, revealing a hard on. His body was muscly, yes, but hairy, all over. He made no effort to shave _anything. _He kicked his pants off and strode over to him, yanking on his hair when he was close enough, pulling his head so that his cheek touched the throbbing organ.

"Your hair is falling out. See to it that you take better care of it. I don't want to see that. Shave it if need be." He said flippantly, but slowly and with much lust lacing his voice. He bucked his hips forward, which was a sign that Allen was to start blowing him. He complied, taking the whole thing into his mouth at once, his eyebrows knitting in frustration. The other grunted, and bucked forward, gagging Allen. It smelt gross, like he didn't wash there or something, but had no taste. After bucking into the heat of his mouth several more times, he withdrew, only having done it to arouse himself further.

"Stand now." He commanded. Allen stood up, looking away from the monsters eyes. This was his least favorite part. He was always subconscious of how he looked, and he knew he would be either stripped, or ordered to strip. The first came, which was surprising. First Leverrier looked into his eyes with his, while holding his shoulders in front of him. He leaned forward and captured his lips in a one-sided kiss, his mustache rubbing painfully against Allens soft top lip. His rough hands left his shoulders to go to his neck, pulling the young face to his.

_Disgusting, _Allen thought. When the kiss stopped, he pulled his button up shirt down off of the bony shoulders. Next the sweater underneath, and anything else cluttering the naked form. Again, Allen felt the most exposed in his life, even as the older was much more naked. The kissing trailed from his mouth to his exposed torso, leaving love marks all over his topmost body. "I want you to lay on my desk, boy. Take a pillow and get comfortable." Allen obliged, taking a pillow and placing himself on the desk. His back was going to ache later, he knew.

The monster grabbed the whipped cream and sprayed it all over Allen, from neck to where his pants started. He unbuckled the belt surrounding the smaller, flaccid organ, and removed whatever was left of his clothing in one foul swoop. The hot air in the office did not help his breathing, which was starting to become labored. His eyes started to cloud over, he couldn't watch what he knew was coming. The part where his own body betrayed him made this the most disgusting, he knew.

Rough, hardened hands grabbed at the flaccid penis, pumping it very hard in all directions, pulling down and making it painful, _too painful. _He cried out at the force, arms subconsciously moving to make it stop. They were slapped away, and he was looked at with a ferocious glare. "I could easily sell you out to the rest of the Order, boy. You know this, and yet you still resist me? Do you know how many men would take the opportunity if they all knew? Huh, **do you**?" That last two words were spat with such conviction that he felt his heart jolt. He knew that if he kept messing up like that, he would be _shown, _again, what it would feel like to have two men inside of him at once. He almost panicked at the thought.

"I... I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He tried to say, which came out quiet and broken, not strong like it once was.

"Right you are. I'll have to show you again, if it does."

The love marking started again now, where the whipped cream was. The rough mustache scraped across the small chest, in every bone indent, on each nipple, and his shoulders. Against his will, his once flaccid penis was now fully hard, and pushing upwards, seeking attention. Strawberries were pushed passed his lips, and he was forced to chew on them, acting like he enjoyed it. They only tasted like semen though...

"Now," the monster started, grabbing the full hard on his ministrations were producing, "How can you really say that you don't like it when even _I'm _not that hard." He went lower now, licking at the white pubic hair of Allen's sensitive penis. Allen couldn't help but move towards the touch, he was so skilled. This part always gave him shivers thinking about it later, where he would lose himself in something as pathetic as sex. And with a pedophile, too.

He looked away, not able to watch any longer. _I'm disgusting, _he thought,_ worse than a dog to this military. Just their bitch. _The old tongue wriggled its way around the smaller penis, popping the head into his mouth. He payed extra attention to several spots where he knew Allen would start moaning and gasping and bucking towards, getting just that as he did it. He finally just took the whole thing in his mouth, quickly pumping him with sucking, watching him cruelly even as he did it.

Allen was panting heavily now, and crying his girly moans into the soundproof office, where he knew not a soul could hear him. _And I had myself almost convinced earlier that someone cared. _Tears ran down his face now, and he knew that if the other saw them, he'd make him pay for it. But before his climax came, right before, Leverrier stopped, and slid onto the desk himself. Clearly he was low on energy or something if he wanted to outright fuck him.

He slid his experienced hands between Allens legs, parting them, so he could look at the youth with hungry eyes, taking in his own perverted fantasies. His body had changed after all, where as he used to be human looking, his legs and chest and arms were now hairless, making him smooth and fun to touch.

He next positioned himself between the legs, throwing knees as close to his shoulders as they would reach. His penis was tipped right at the hole, and he grinned as the other watched him fearfully. In one harsh movement, he bucked his hips high into the others, earning a pained shriek in response. In his haze of emotions, he tried to throw himself away from the sharp painful thrusts, but was too weak, and felt himself growing weaker as his energy pooled into his quickly rising orgasm.

Only halfway into the brutal fucking did he come, releasing himself all over his own stomach. His energy was being leaked out, and he watched for the millionth time Leverrier's eyes glowed with the oncoming power...

It didn't take long for both parties to dress awkwardly after the end of this nights session. Something was different this time though... Allen felt something. A yearning of some sort. Maybe it was because Kanda didn't come. He wasn't saved, like he hoped.

Leverrier bid him goodbye, saying that he wasn't going to be there for a couple of days. He gave him strict orders about his hair, and how he would prefer it shaved. Finally, he sat back in his chair, and watched as Allen collected his things, and left, heaving the door closed behind him.

_I can't do this anymore,_ he thought. _This needs to end. There's only one way out, isn't there?_

**WARNING FOR NEXT CHAPTER: Gonna be sad. No I won't kill anyone, can't do that. But I'm sure that by the end sentence you'll be able to figure out what Allen will try...**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE – I Can't Do This Anymore**

**WARNINGS – Attempted Suicide, Suspense**

_Too much, too much, this is **too** much! _Allen thought frantically, as he looked at his mutilated form in the mirror. His hair was thin, very, very thin. _He_ was very, very thin. He looked like one of those decomposed bodies you would see after the holocaust. His skin was losing color and it was losing it _fast. _His eyes were blue-lidded, and his cheeks had no red tinge. It was as if tonight's session had taken more than just his power, but his life essence. Maybe it was because something in him had snapped. The same thing that had him in the bathroom in the first place.

_Kanda didn't come. I thought he'd come! Fuck, this is too much!_ Too much pain. Too much sex. Too much draining. It was all just getting to be too much... Kanda was supposed to come. The more he thought about it, the more he lost hope that anyone would come, ever. Not that Kanda of all people was much to go by, but still. Why, _why_ couldn't he have just checked if he was okay?!

"No... no more... I can't do this anymore..."

On another floor of the castle, far away from where Allen was, Kanda argued frantically with Johnny. He had come an hour ago, hoping to get as much information as possible about how the Battery would work, would they know anything about it, and so forth. They could give him little info, so he left the science department to seek out Hevlaska. Once he arrived at his destination, the large woman smiled sadly at him, knowing. "_Kanda._" She said simply. She knew from reports from the innocence around the castle about what was going on. She knew how Allen was feeling, and how Kanda could have helped, and how the clock was ticking, how it was almost too late.

"You knew I was coming?" He said, profoundly confused as to how she could have sensed him.

"_I know all concerning innocence. And their wielders._" She smiled serenely at him, almost making Kanda smile back, but as it was, this was no smiling matter, and even if it was, he was Kanda, not a smiling telly-tubby. "_You've come to inquire about Allen, have you not_?"

"I'm curious..." Kanda looked away, the only sign of exactly how worried he was.

"_Indeed, little one. Be not surprised at my willingness to divulge information... I know you are capable of helping_." Kanda nodded, listening intently. "_I have spent much time interacting with the innocence presenting this issue with Allen. Within the laws and customs of the humans, I know next to nothing of importance, nothing that could prove useful. Although, I have figured a plan that, if successful, could keep the child safe._" The last part of her speech brought Kanda's hopes up tenfold. His narrow eyes widened, and he beckoned her to continue. "_Although I cannot tell you at this exact moment, for I fear we are being watched. I will communicate it through Allen, and you may both cerebrate upon it._

"_But unfortunately, now is not the time for this. Allen needs you, and he needs you now_." She finished, her smile dropping and her tone returning to a low humming bass. Kanda nodded and wasted no time in trying to get back upstairs.

Upstairs, Allen was found in his bathroom. He had shaved his head, now, and stood looking at what was left of his once luscious hair, clumped sadly at the bottom on the sink. It was once shiny and full and thick, but it never, even now, lost its softness and he could at least give himself that. He smiled at his own reflection, and a tear rolled down his face. He had never really had short hair. At least he could cross that off his bucket list.

He had locked himself in the bathroom prior to when he shaved off his hair. It wasn't all gone, just a buzz cut. If he weren't so malnourished, he would be able to grow it all back quickly. But he had other things on his mind, that had little to do with his future, and more to do with how to end it. He locked Tim out of his bathroom, but also locked him in the front of his dorm, so that he couldn't go and look for help. _Pff... not like anyone would help anyway... the only one who knows is Kanda, and he doesn't care about anything, let alone me. _

A knot formed then in the pit of his gaunt stomach. He swallowed. He knew that Kanda wouldn't help. Kanda just helped further the process of him wanting to end it. He should have guessed that even when someone finally found out, that it would be hopeless. Leverrier was just too powerful a man to push aside and punish. No, even if the whole church knew, he would only be in more danger...

This way was the only way out.

He made sure to change into nice clothes upon entering the bathroom. No use being found completely naked and them being disgusted and terrified to find out about his appearance. No, they would find him wearing something nice, his face peaceful, his body looking full. Of course once they did an autopsy, they would find out that he was emaciated, and had been for a while. _I'm just surprised that I'm not already dead._

The shower curtains hung loosely from where he had taken them down from the shower rod, sitting innocently on top of the toilet seat. He smiled at them. _You don't know that you would be made for this day, did you? _A pathetic existence of hiding naked people from intruders, and keeping water off the floor will end with death, and later a trash bin. Perhaps it will get to be inspected by the science team for evidence and stuff... _why on earth do I care about the shower curtains?_ He wondered .

He walked over to the curtains, after cleaning up the mess of his hair. He grabbed one end, and pulled them off of the toilet, but only stood there dumbly after. _Is this really what I want?_ But after reviewing his options, he knew._ This is the only path that I can choose._ He walked over to his shower, looking at the high bars above the bath. He tied one end of the lengthy cloth around two of the bars, making a sturdy knot around the top.

He heard absently Tim banging his whole body against the wooden door, begging him not to continue with his suicide. "I'm sorry Tim... but you want me to be happy, right?" The banging then stopped. "This is the only way I can be..."

He knew what the others would think. What a coward, running away from the war by committing suicide. Some would think that he was brave enough to come this far. Or maybe Kanda would tell the others, and then the whole Order would be aware of what went on this entire time. Or perhaps no one really cared, and he would be cremated like a family pet, or buried out back. Whatever the outcome, he wouldn't be there.

Allen fashioned a noose, and hung it off the side. He went to grab a stool, and laid it where he could stand, then kick it off. He stood under the noose, and hung it around his neck, tightening it so that he wouldn't be slipping off.

With one last breath, he kicked off the stool.

Kanda ran as fast as he could.

Hevlaska had warned him about Allen committing suicide, but he only digested it further as he quickly rose from story to story of the giant building. _I shouldn't have let him go! I should have kidnapped him and helped! Fuck me! _He'd been berating himself for letting this happen the entire way, but the knot in his belly only got worse as his running came closer to the room that either held a dead or almost dead Moyashi.

Finally, after much running and zero oxygen in his lungs, he reached the wooden door. He opened it, but found nothing. Tim flew at his face and immediately tugged at his hair, pointing to the bathroom, which still had the light on. He flung himself at the door, and found that it was locked! "Moyashi! Allen! Let me in!" He tugged at the door, but it wouldn't open. No answer, either. Finally, he drew Mugen and made minced meat of the door.

"No... oh, no." He said... seeing the feet dangling, he thought what he was seeing was a dead body. Upon closer inspection, he noticed the struggle lines in the boys face, clearly he was trying to die, but the soft material of the curtains he used as a noose, plus the lowered weight of his actual body, meant that his neck didn't break. He quickly scrambled over to the limp body, and untied the noose, but caught Allen before he fell.

Kanda picked him up closely to his chest and carried him back into the main dorm. Allen's eyes fluttered open long enough for Kanda to say:

"Moyashi, Hevlaska came up with a plan."

**Sorry for the wait. Vacation is taxing ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX – Fly To a Better Land**

**WARNINGS – Kanda being nice. Sexual assault. Graphic details of Allen's pain. **

_His breathing is so silent. But if I want any chance at saving him I know that I must keep him away from the rest of the Order at all costs. I have one shot at this, and even if it works, I'm still going to need a lot of luck to help me through. _Kanda observed Allen while he slept. He had been keeping an eye on him all this time, ruminating, and waiting for him to wake so that he could contact Hevlaska through Mugen. He would guess part of this plan would be to run away. He was okay with that, but Allen wouldn't be quite as fine with it.

First of all, if Allen and him were to run away, where could they hide from both the Order and the Noah's at the same time? They were bound to find them eventually, and what would Leverrier do at that point? Even if they weren't found, how would he react to being just with Kanda of all people... alone? He was sure that even if he could be an adequate friend, he would never truly trust him. Not after all of this time being assaulted by Leverrier, and even bullied by Kanda.

A sudden stirring broke him from his train of thought. Allen moaned out something incoherent, and he leaned in closer to see what the commotion was about. He was then faced with two very angry eyes. "Damn you!" And he was suddenly being attacked by small yet powerless fists hitting him incessantly. Kanda stood up and walked a step back, knowing Allen was now a little too weak to follow him. He arched an eyebrow when again he was being stared at.

"Do you want me to be miserable, Kanda? I don't want this anymore! I hate my life! You make no sense, one minute hating my guts, then-"

"I don't hate you, Moyashi," Kanda said calmly, but effectively loud enough to cut him off, "I treated you mean before, yes. I am sorry for that, however that is neither here nor there. I can help you. I just need you to trust me." Allen narrowed his eyes, then lowered them with a sigh of defeat. _If he can help, would he end up using me like Leverrier does? _He thought.

"Okay. I'm listening." He looked up with sad gray eyes.

"Alright, well, first of all, I need to contact Hevlaska through Mugen, because apparently she's hatched a plan." He pulled out his sword, and saw as Allen's eyes widened, and he flinched a little. _Has Leverrier really scarred him to this point? _Suddenly, Hevlaska's voice rang through the room.

"_Kanda?" _She called.

"And Moyashi." Kanda answered.

"_Good. As I imagine you've told him, we have a plan. I've deducted that if I can keep Leverrier from you for long enough, he would go into what you would call 'withdrawls', which would have horrible effects on his mood. Slowly the magic would backlash from him, destroying him from the inside out." _

"How long? I've been gone from the order for long periods of time, you know. And he would find me if I ran away for too long." Allen began, thinking this was just a hopeless plan.

"_Listen, my young Allen. The first part of the plan will have to be getting Komui to agree to let you __both on a six month mission. That's how long it would take for your power in him to want to react with you again. He's done it for too long and too many times, now his body will expect it at least every month. If you two can keep away for long enough, he will surely die or go insane from lack of contact." _

"So... it was this easy all along?"

"_No. last nights session left your body raw, he took more than you could give, and more than his body could handle. We only needed last night to progress it to this point. Although, now your body will have trouble healing from his cruelty. You will heal at a less than normal rate, now... I'm sorry..." _Allen couldn't care less about the last part. A chance to get away. That's all he wanted. And now he has it, so close to his grasp.

"Why does Kanda have to come along?" Kanda looked away, hurt from the comment.

"_He is essential to make this look real. Besides, he could help you heal."_

As much as Allen wanted to argue, he knew it was futile. Kanda was coming, because now he knew. He probably wanted a piece to himself. But either way, it was better than staying here, where he would be tortured into insanity or another shot at suicide. Allen nodded and let it pass. So what if there were arguments and he wasn't with his friends, anything was better than staying here with Leverrier. He could easily handle arguments...

The conversation between Kanda and Hevlaska lasted a few more minutes, and Allen was told after to meet Kanda in his room (which he had been given concise directions to) with his stuff packed within a half an hour. He watched Kanda leave with more than a small nagging in his brain telling him to reach out and say 'stay'. But he didn't. He didn't want to give Kanda the feeling that he was being clingy, or else he might lose the only savior he had ever had. The only one...

_I should probably stop thinking about that right now, and get to packing, or I could also lose the only chance I have of escaping him. _He snapped quickly out of his train of thought and started to arrange his things back into his suit case. Tim regarded him with what seemed to be a sense of worry, but Allen would never know. Suddenly, he felt a chill and then a small gasp escaped him. He needed warmth. Really badly. He felt like his toes and nose and eyes and fingers were going to fall off if he kept being this cold. But the only heat he had ever known had come from sex... _no, heat is bad. The cold would never hurt me like the heat does. _

He shook his head and gathered up his things. He still had fifteen minutes by the time he was done, so he went to the bathroom to clean up the mess he had made and apply some makeup to his form, as well as some extra layers of clothing._ Might as well make this getaway as clean as possible, leaving very few traces behind, _he thought.

When it came time, he followed the directions as best as he could to Kanda's room. But, as he usually did, he got lost. He found himself up two more flights of stairs than he would have hoped. _I wonder if Kanda would be mad if I came an hour later than I was supposed to? _

His thoughts were cut short by familiar whistling.

_Leverrier. _

"Where are you headed, my boy?" The man said, suddenly picking up pace to reach him. His smile deepened as he strode towards Allen. Before he could have asked, though, Allen threw his luggage into an empty store-room, so that their whole plan would not be ruined. Immediately, he looked down, and assumed his role as submissive. "Nowhere, sir." He murmured to his feet. Leverrier scrutinized him further, eying him up and down, making him completely vulnerable underneath his gaze.

Leverrier grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him down into another (thankfully not the one with his luggage in it) unused store-room.

Time went by, and they both walked out looking disheveled, Allen staggering behind, with a huge limp in his walk.

"I'm glad you cut off all of that damn wispy hair. Go to the cafeteria, eat. You're too thin." He said, before taking his leave and beginning to whistle once more.

Allen let out a shaking sigh, and looked from side to side. _Should I go to the caff, or try to find Kanda?_ He opted for the former, and took his familiar route to the canteen.

Once there, he looked around, and noticed out of the corner of his eye an arched eyebrow. _Kanda... _Said samurai walked silently towards him, and took note of the flinch and fleeting look of terror in Allen's eyes. He nodded towards the exit and started walking. When they turned round a corner, Kanda turned around and pierced him on the spot with a glare. "Where the _hell_ have you been, Moyashi?"

"He stopped me on my way here..." Allen replied looking down at his feet.

"Leverrier?" Kanda asked, noting the flinch in Allen's stance when the name was mentioned. He sighed, not wanting to provoke any bad reactions in him. "Where are your bags?" Allen told him, and soon enough, after retrieving his bags, they found themselves in front of Komui's office.

Allen gulped, and closed his eyes. "I have to tell him?"

"Yes."

"What if he tells on me? Or.. or if he wants to use me as well?"

"He won't. I've known Komui my whole life. Any chance that man can get to help someone, he will use it. Even if he is an insufferable twit."

And they entered.

"My boys, how can I help you?" The cheerful sing-song voice rang to them. Allen looked up at the man in the big chair, and immediately wanted to turn around. Maybe it could all go back to the way it was... maybe he could find a way to make Leverrier stay away from him... maybe he could go through with his suicide plan, after all, and just escape this horrid world. But Kanda noticed his hesitation, and started the escape plan before he had a chance to run away and ruin his only chance at peace.

"Moyashi has something he needs to tell you." And at the moment he realized the importance of the situation, Komui straightened in his chair, pulled his hands together, and gestured to the couch across from his desk. Allen took a deep breath and walked towards the desk, sitting down, and wincing from the pain in his rectum, which was still fresh from the store room.

"Well? Anything you want to tell me, you know you can, Allen."

"Kanda... I... I can't!" Allen suddenly yelled, and shot up from his seat, only to be pushed down by Kanda.

"Someone's been hurting him... sexually..." Kanda said, still struggling to keep Allen from standing up, who in turn stopped straight in his tracks, to stare ahead at the Science head chief. He stopped trying to sit up and immediately went into panic mode, staring straight ahead without actually seeing, his breathing becoming quick and gasping.

Komui simply stood up and walked over to Allen. He kneeled down in front of him, and made sure not to touch him, "Allen? It's okay, I can help you. Tell me more, either of you, I'll do anything to help."

"You've heard of the battery, the prophecy Hevlaska discovered?"

"Yes. It's Allen?" Komui suddenly turned an inquisitive eye on the boy. Allen nodded, and started shaking on the spot, an awkward look plastered to his face. He gulped again, and found the courage to look up at Komui. "Are you mad at me, for not telling you sooner?" He asked, his voice cracking, hurt, and just barely above broken.

"Not at all... but what does you being involved in the prophecy have to do with you being abused?" Komui asked, his voice sincere, and concerned. Allen's breath hitched. He really wished that he could turn around right now, and run away. Even if he had to live with it, he wouldn't care, as long as he wouldn't have to _talk_ about it... talking about it hurt almost as much as the actual act. Especially now that people would know how much of a weakling he was...

"Moyashi. Come on, this isn't my story to tell. You need to say something." Kanda insisted, urging him to talk with a small squeeze of his shoulders. He knew touching wasn't allowed, but it was used right now to steady him as he came through this challenge. _If he can come through this..._

"It's... ahh... it's the only way to get the power out of me..." Allen said finally, after a long pause to steady himself. He remembered suddenly that he was being touched and shrugged off the offensive hands on his shoulders. "As in... say if I really was a battery, that would be charging?.." He tried to find the best explanation, alas, words were failing him, but as he looked up into Komui's eyes, he was relieved to recognize comprehension.

"I understand, Allen." Komui smiled at him. A sad, yet understanding smile. "How long has this been going on for?"

"A year..." Kanda answered, knowing Allen was done talking for now. Allen smiled gratefully up at him, for he would refuse to answer from here on out. If Komui would help, he would have to do it with that much information. They conversed for a few more minutes about the specifics of the abuse, and Komui was flabbergasted to find out that it was Leverrier doing the horrible deed. The conversation got less and less comfortable for Allen, and he cleared his throat, wanting to get on with it before his stomach would burst from the nervous pain.

"Komui, Hevlaska came up with a plan." Kanda said, then proceeded to tell him exactly what the plan entailed. Komui walked over to his desk, and looked for about ten minutes before he came up with the perfect escape mission. It would be a long one, and and undercover one. It was also in a very relaxing town located in France. If Leverrier tried to find them, he would literally have to look across the globe.

Allen looked up at Komui. _This man just may have played a huge role in saving me. If this works... _He smiled. Komui smiled back, and told them where they could go for rooming, as well as giving them money for the long stay ahead of them.

"Thank you so much, Komui... you were an essential part of this escape plan..." Allen smiled again, looking somber down at his feet.

"Of course Allen." And with that, he sent the two off.

Before Kanda could leave, Komui pulled him aside. "Allen is in pain. When was the last time exactly that he was used?" And he gestured to the couch. On it, where Allen was sitting was blood, clearly from his rectum. Kanda gasped and started back a little, only to regain his posture and look at Komui. "I think the last time was less than an hour ago." Komui nodded at this information and went to retrieve a bag from his lab. In it were several vials of antiseptic, and balms of sorts for healing, as well as bandages and clothes for cleaning wounds. It would have been a first aide kit, if not for the use Kanda knew he would have to employ on Allen.

"Thank you. I'm sure it will come in handy. Hevlaska did say that he would heal at a slower pace than a normal human being..." And with that, he was off.

Both him and Allen met up at the docks below the Black Order. And thus began their escape.

Allen sighed, it was night time. They had been traveling for over two hours, and would be arriving at their destination soon. The ride was tiring and silent, Allen not willing to talk. He never really wanted to talk anymore. But finally, finally, a stir of hope was in him.

Finally, I can look forward.

**God that was a long wait for this chapter, sorry guys! **

**This story is dedicated to recovery, which most fics like this actually lack. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm sorry if the time between France and London is longer or shorter, but I couldn't find a time period from both countries by train.**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN – Let Me Help You, Moyashi**

**WARNINGS – VERY graphic details of Allen's pain. Do not proceed if you are faint of heart.**

The cabin that they had been placed in had two built in couches, one on each side of the cabin, and small table placed in between the two couches. On one side of the compartment, there was windows, and on the other side, a wooden door. They had stuffed their things in the storage unit next door, only keeping their backpacks with them in the cabin.

Allen was sleeping soundly on his side of the cabin that they shared on their way to France. Kanda still hadn't confronted him about the blood he accidentally trailed behind him on the couch in Komui's office. It had already been two hours now, and they would be arriving in Paris soon enough. From there they would take another slower train that would take them deeper into a safe town about three hours away. Kanda didn't know how he would get the Moyashi cleaned up before he caught an infection, nor did he know how to confront him on the possibility that he was assaulted on his way to find him earlier that day back at HQ.

But the kid was sleeping, and they still had a good half an hour before the train stopped. Perhaps Kanda could just sneak up on him while he slept? No, because the risk was too great of him finding out, and loosing all trust he maybe had begun to have for Kanda. Maybe now would be a good time to bring up that he needed help healing 'down there'.

So, he cleared his throat, and spoke for the first time in the two hours they had been cooped up together. "Moyashi. Wake up, I need to talk to you." Allen stirred at this, but didn't open his eyes. Kanda pulled out the bag of medical supplies that Komui had given him, and placed it on the table in between them. "I need you to look at this." And with that, Allen lazily opened one eye, and stared at the bag. He scrunched up his white eyebrows, and sat up, to stretch, yawn, and clear his throat.

"What's in it?" He asked, while rubbing his eyes on his hands to clear away the sleep-boogers.

"Medical supplies." Kanda replied, with little to no emotion lacing his voice. He didn't want to give away his intentions, for it could ruin his plan to help Allen in the long run. Allen gestured for him to continue, so he cleared his throat, and went ahead to explaining. "You... you need help, with umm... healing..." Allen suddenly looked alert and ready. He glared immediately at Kanda and all but hissed, "_Stay away from me!"_

"Moyashi-"

"THE NAME IS ALLEN." The boy suddenly roared. He knew what Kanda wanted, he didn't want to _heal_ him, he wanted to see him naked! He wanted to judge his body before he fucked him for the power that the stupid Battery would give him! He just wanted to do to him what Leverrier had all this time...

Tears started pouring sadly out of his eyes, and and he simply sniffled, and looked defeated. He knew he couldn't run away, Kanda would catch him. He also knew he couldn't fight him off. His chest felt so heavy with the burden he didn't want to carry anymore. He thought that perhaps Kanda had been the one to lift that burden, but no, he just wanted to steal his power away like Leverrier. He hugged his arms around himself and looked to the side. "Well? Aren't you going to fuck me?"

Kanda was taken aback. He rose an eyebrow and stared at the scarred teen in front of him. _Fuck him? Is that what he thinks I want to do?_ He thought. "Moyashi, I don't want to do that with you." He said. _Not right now, when you're still broken, at least..._ "Besides, Hevlaska basically said that until you're better, you're unable to give anyone anymore power..."

"But I don't want you touching me... especially not _there_..." Allen whined, his face depicting all sorts of pain. He was really trying his best to remain calm, but the thought of another man, so soon after Leverrier had, touching him there, was just making his stomach roil. The pit in his stomach churned, and he lurched over the side of his couch, and threw up stomach acid into the small garbage can located there. His face was hot with shame, but the tears and vomit just wouldn't stop. His knees were so wobbly that he wouldn't be able to stand if asked. He just felt so _weak._

Kanda didn't know what to do, but he stood up and crossed the small cabin to sit next to the shaking Allen. It was clear that he was trying to stop himself from throwing up, but to no avail. So he got up again (awkwardly) and paced across the room to find his back pack, where he had stashed his own little bit of medicinal goods. In it were raw ginger roots, a small bottle of honey, a small bottle of lemon juice, and a small bottle of mint extract. He took a ginger root, and quickly paced back over to Allen. He nudged his arm, which resulted in Allen turning around abruptly, still holding the garbage can. He gave him the root, and said simply, "Chew on this. Don't swallow it, but let it mix with your saliva enough until your stomach calms down. Then we can talk."

Allen nodded and took the ginger root. It tasted sour, but it was undoubtedly working. It took over five minutes of awkward silence before he was able to nod his head and put down the garbage can safely. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. Kanda could tell that this was a reaction to feeling vulnerable, or rather, submissive. "You don't have to do that with me."

Allen peeked an eye at him. "Do what?"

"Act submissive. I won't hurt you. Promise." And he held out his pinky finger. Allen couldn't help but giggle at the strangeness of _Kanda_, wanting to make a _pinky promise_. But Allen played along and held out his pinky, and they made the pact that Kanda would not hurt Allen. Allen smiled up at the other, a tired but genuine smile. Again though, he looked away, the eye contact always killed him. Kanda did notice this, but didn't comment, this time.

"Moyashi... I still want you to let me help you." He said seriously, after about ten minutes of silence.

"I don't want you to..." Allen said, looking again out the window. He knew he was in pain, and that it was worse than before. But he didn't want Kanda to find out what had happened in the store room earlier that day, as it still burned in his memory and his mind, clear as day. His body felt no better than his mind, and he was sure that he couldn't last much longer without seeking out help. This was probably the worst that he's ever felt...

Alas, the train was coming to a stop, where they would depart by foot to another train, that would lead them to Lens, which was five miles away from Grenay, the town that they would be staying in for six months. Allen needed to be rational, and he knew it. So he considered a compromise. "What if... what if we wait until we get to Grenay?" At that, Kanda gave a small jerk of his head, and left the conversation untouched until they got to their new living arrangements.

It took them no longer than four hours by the slower train to reach Lens, which was a city located five miles from the small town of Grenay. When they actually arrived in Paris, Allen had trouble keeping himself upright, and constantly stopped to change his pants and underwear. Kanda could only watch as the Moyashi made himself bear it for Kanda's sake. _Damn kid doesn't want to worry me, so he tries to stay strong, _ he thought the whole time he traveled to their next train. It actually pained him to have to watch when he knew that he could have helped him back in the train. But his trust was the most important thing he needed to establish with Allen right now. It was crucial.

The thing that was starting to bug him though, was that Allen was getting more and more pale as the day went forth. His complexion was already fair, sure, but it wasn't to the point where he looked like he was about to drop dead at any given minute. Now, he seemed to be constantly trying to keep his eyes open and his head up. But Kanda didn't ask, he knew he would find out any truths he needed to know by the time he helped him.

Finally, they got to their new house. It was more of a cabin, very small, but with a secret underground escape space, just in case they were searched for. It was very simple up top, a small kitchenette, a bathroom, a room with two beds, and a fire place with a sitting arrangement. Once you went to the secret underground space, though, it was a whole new house. There was a huge sitting arrangement, where the couches were high class, as well as a huge aquarium to accompany the cosiness of it. There was a small exercise gym, where one could also do other hobbies like art or play piano. There were two connected rooms, where very large and classy beds were found. Also, there was a pet room, which connected to the outdoors, by a staircase that led to the smallest meadow found in the middle of the woods, where their house was situated. There was also a complete kitchen, and a very large and luscious bathroom.

Allen was quite excited, to say the least. They were told to spend as much time as possible in the basement, so that spies would not follow them. Although, the mission was kept very secret. The only people who were informed were Komui, Johnny, and the head nurse. Johnny was only told because he was trusted, and Allen wanted him to know so that he wouldn't worry. The head nurse doesn't know all of the details, just about someone at the order being sexually abused. She was the one who supplied Kanda with a whole bunch of medical supplies, should the need arise. Including stocking the house full of any needs they may ever have.

It took them only an hour to settle into their basement house. By this time, Allen's stomach was roiling again. He tried to avoid talking to Kanda, but he knew the he was giving himself away. He needed help. And Kanda was the only one for miles that could actually help him. He'd seen on different missions the older males capability to heal others on the battle field. He was much smarter than he acted, Allen could give him that much.

So he now sat on a couch in the basement, with a towel underneath him. He was wearing black silk PJ's, so that he wouldn't stain the fabric, and also because it was a lot more comfy on his sensitive behind. Kanda walked in no more than ten minutes later, carrying a tray of tea for both of them. Allen gladly took his, and noticed the piece of ginger root in it. He smiled at the sensitivity the other had, it really was gratifying. Kanda looked at him, and then took a seat after taking his own tea (which he didn't sweeten or add milk to). He had also brought his bag of medical supplies.

Allen looked at the bag wearily. Kanda would be able to figure out what happened to him after he took just one look. And he would probably be mad that he hadn't said anything earlier. It was much much worse than even Allen could have imagined possible. His body was at its very limits, and the only way to feel any better was with the help that he hoped to receive in Kanda. He sighed shakily.

"Where do you want to do it?" Kanda asked. His tea was coming to an end, and he knew that his tea was his last time limit before he was touched again. He knew deep down that Kanda meant good, and that nothing would happen, but still, his stomach was clenching painfully. His tea suddenly didn't seem very appetizing, so he put it down.

"Somewhere less... big?" He suggested. The open space in the sitting room was overwhelming, and made him feel watched. Kanda nodded, and set his tea down as well. Kanda asked whether or not Allen wanted to go into a bedroom or if he would prefer somewhere less private. Allen actually agreed to the bedroom, but only because the beds were so amazingly soft. They walked, and limped, silently over, Kanda holding his bag of medical supplies from Komui, and Allen becoming paler by the second.

"Okay, take your pants off and just lay down on the bed, with your knees up. That will give me a better look, and you'll get your best amount of privacy, without having to stand up. Is that okay?" Kanda instructed, taking in every single detail. He needed to make sure he didn't screw this up. Allen only nodded shakily. Kanda _had _seen him naked before. Just... never so beaten up. Leverrier had been quite aggressive the last time. Allen shakily grabbed his pants buckle, but for some reason they were way too shaky to take them off. Kanda wasn't watching, but he could tell by the panicked breathing that something was going awry.

"Moyashi, do you need my help?" He asked.

"No... no... I don't. I just... ahh, Kanda you won't be mad, will you?" He asked, his face almost a green color now. Kanda was overly worried now. He simply shook his head. Allen couldn't help but think he was lying. But really, it was Kanda, he couldn't be much worse than Leverrier. So he gulped, and dropped his silk PJ pants, and his boxers. He shimmied over to his bed, where a towel was spread out, and lay on it, on his side. "Okay..." Allen said, his voice small and almost like that of a child.

Kanda stood, and walked over to Allen. He made extra effort not to stare. Allen was facing him, which was to be expected. Although, Kanda couldn't help but blush at the half naked Moyashi laying on the bed. _For me. _But immediately he shook those thoughts away. Those thoughts wouldn't help anyone.

He couldn't help but notice the trail of blood. It went from where he had dropped his pants to where he was laying on the towel. _It should definitely not be bleeding this much. _As he rounded the bed, and kneeled down to take a look, he couldn't help but gasp.

There were shards of glass _in _his actual anus. But he didn't comment. Allen would have been expecting that. So calmly, he asked, "What did he do?" Allen let out a shuddering breath, and as expected began to cry. "He... when we... were in the store room before I found you in the cafeteria, he, he.." But he couldn't continue. Kanda could only imagine the pain the other must be feeling, but regardless, he got to work.

He took his time in pulling out the glass shards, one at a time, starting from the opening going in. Allen couldn't help but gasp a lot. It was fucking _painful. _At one point he tried his hardest to control his sobbing. He felt very vulnerable right now. And the blood loss was starting to get to him. With Kanda back there, he felt embarrassed, and ashamed for not asking for help sooner. It took more than an hour, but Kanda finally finished pulling out all of the glass.

Allen felt much better after he was done. But he still needed to actually heal it. He brought a solve over, both antibacterial and wound closing. He spread it generously into his opening, and finally finished. He waited in the room for Allen to put his clothes back on. He reminded him to tell him if the bleeding started up again, to which Allen agreed fully.

But his heart dropped when he heard Kanda say,

"Now, meet me in the living room. We need to have a talk."

**I felt really bad for the slow updates, so here is another chapter!**

**Sorry if you feel bad for Allen, but the theme here is recovery.**

**I really hope this time I'll get more than 3 reviews. **

**Review lovelies! :)**


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